Learn From Your Loss
by BlackSoulStar
Summary: Something happens to Toshiro and the last thing he was told by his zanpakuto was 'learn form you loss' Toshiro gets Karin to help him with this little riddle. vague, i know but i don't want to give it away


Staring at everyone how passed them, Toshiro Hitsugaya waited for her to come out from school. He had seen her go in and had been waiting for her since then. He watched as two girls walked over to him. They stared at him with a cheesy smile. Toshiro glared at them before seeing the girl he had waited for.

He saw Karin and her twin sister, Yuzu and some other male that he didn't know. He ignored the other guy then walked over to her sadly. Karin, upon seeing him rushed over and gave him a large hug. Her smile faltered as the boy stood their sad. She could tell that he was enjoying the hug.

The girl tightened her grip around him as Toshiro rested his head upon her shoulder. Yuzu and the male walked over to them seeing them in their current position.

"Karin who is this? Boyfriend?" the boy assumed. Yuzu walked on saying that she was gonna meet with friends before running off.

"No Senri, this is Toshiro Hitsugaya. He's one of the captains in the Seireitei" Toshiro bit his lip before looking to the Senri guy.

"You know about Soul Reapers?" Toshiro asked his voice breaking at the statement. Senri nodded before his smirk changed to something more sinister.

"If you were a captain, how come you can't feel my spiritual pressure?" Toshiro shrugged before lying:

"'Cause I'm hung-over" a few people had heard this statement. Karin only gasped then frowned at the young captain.

"So you can't sense my pressure" Senri argued. Toshiro only nodded before turning away.

"It's all a buzz" he lied once again. Karin bit her lip, follow the drunk captain or hang with Senri, her best friend. Karin apologized to Senri before running of to the captain who was walking solemnly down the streets of Kurakura.

"Toshiro?" Karin called out to the captain, who captain froze waiting for the girl to catch up. Toshiro, once Karin had caught up began walking again. He soon stopped after hearing the girl do the same.

"Toshiro a hollow" she said. Toshiro quickly looked to the girl then bit his lip. He pretended to look for his soul candy, and pretended not to have it when in fact he didn't own any, he then took the girl by the hand and ran the way they came.

"Karin...can you leave me be please?" he asked as they were a safe distance away from the hollow. Toshiro began walking to a familiar house that was owned by the Kurosaki girl. Toshiro saw the door open and Karin's dad stepped out of the house with a small smile. The boy sadly walked into the clinic were Isshin had told him to go.

Isshin took a seat a chair before smiling to the sad captain. The dad only ruffled the boys hair without a word then smiled.

"I heard, so you want a place to stay, I here that Urahara turned you down. I'm gonna say yes, I'm not gonna put rent on you, but I do encourage you to help around the house" Isshin said. Toshiro only nodded with the same expression.

"Your what...17 in our world so, you can get a job" Toshiro only nodded then watched as Isshin escorted him to his room which happened to beside Karin's room.

The boy sat down on his bed sadly before looking up to see Karin at the door with a sad expression. Toshiro smiled to the girl with all the strength he could muster before getting up and walking past her.

The day soon came to near and Toshiro ventured back to his home with a bottle in his hand that contained alcohol. The kid walked into his room then hissed loudly before throwing the bottle to the door. The glass shattered into pieces and Toshiro let tears stream down his face. He watched as Karin opened the door. She noticed the broken glass and jumped over it.

She put her arms around Toshiro and held him close as he began to cry even harder. Karin shook her head but said nothing. Toshiro held onto the girl tightly as he cried away everything that had happened in the past few days.

"Toshiro" Karin whispered. Toshiro looked to the girl with a tear streaked face. She put her hands on his face then wiped away some tears before hugging him closely.

"This is the first time, I've heard you cry. I don't like it, I don't want to see you sad" Karin whispered. Toshiro smiled weakly then looked to the clock seeing it was getting rather late for the both of them.

"Sleep with me" Toshiro said putting his arms round her. Karin froze then looked at her friend who lay on the bed. Green eyes flashed up to grey before smiling.

"I meant sleep beside me, not have sex with me dummy" Toshiro laughed to himself watching as Karin lay her head down. She looked over to the glass that sprinkled the floor. She bit her lip, seeing her friend in such a state, something bad must of happened. Karin didn't know what to do. Was she to get him to talk about it? Or, maybe just stay his friend and if he wants let him talk about it.

The latter seemed to be the best one, if she was in Toshiro's position she would appreciate it if people let her be and when she was ready to talk, she would except them to listen to her with curiosity.

The girl was worried for her friend that she didn't realise that he had wrapped his arms around her body and brought her in close to his chest. Karin saw a hand around her abdomen section and let it be. She knew Toshiro, well she knew him enough that he wouldn't molest her. He wasn't really a hugger either but she never took his for someone to cry so she let it be.

Toshiro hid his face in the girls long, silky black hair. He could hear that she was peacefully sleeping which made him smile he then bit his lip thinking about the last thing Hyorinmaru had told him. He never understood what he had meant. Well, he did...it just seemed to him that his dragon had given up? But why? Hyorinmaru wasn't really the type to give up? He would keep fighting until everything was over, till he was dead

Why would the dragon tell him to give up, _to learn from his loss_. Toshiro knew what he lost, he didn't understand why it hurt so much, maybe in the far corner of his mind he wanted people to help him out, to help him from what had happened.

The captain felt like he was just thrown aside, forgotten about. Nothing more, not any more. He was just that kid you remember from years back, faintly. They were a blur but you still remember the name and one of their traits.

Toshiro huffed a sigh, thinking back all his traits would have been foresaid that he was cold, bitter, grumpy. He was never known to be something kinder. Toshiro had heard people say they had never seen him smile not even once. Toshiro smiled in gratitude, but no one did anything for him. They handed him all their chores to do without question or hesitation.

In some ways Toshiro was slightly relived by the events but he felt a huge hole in his heart. He felt like their was nothing in his life, he knew that wasn't true but the feeling he felt. It felt like he lost his whole family in a terrible accident and he was the only survivor, that wasn't the case as everyone he knew still went about their normal lives...well except for him. In some way he felt like he was the one that was killed. He felt like he was the one who was killed, but no one cared for the loss.

Everyone would be happy to do the things that Toshiro hated. Getting drunk. Yes, he did go out drinking, but he was not drunk. He had one bottle and he didn't drink it quickly either.

When he had left the house, he had bought the bottle, he had walked around a bit still with the bottle till he reached his new home and then smashed the thing as he was so sad. He didn't want to feel sorry for himself, he just...he didn't want to be in this predicament.

Sleeping beside Karin was all good, but he could if he so desired could do this anytime. He felt like she was the last thing that he cherished. He didn't want to tell Karin what had happened. He didn't want to tell her the truth. It would scare her, he didn't want to tell her what occurred.

Toshiro held her close, he was scared yet proud. He was proud that he had saved her life and she was peacefully sleeping beside him yet the thought of someone wanting to hurt her scared him. He couldn't protect her from hollows, he couldn't do anything for the girl and for that reason he was scared.

He watched as that peaceful face turned round and snuggled into his chest. Toshiro bit his lip. He wanted to give her a light kiss, but he wasn't going to risk losing her. She was peacefully sleeping with him. He was not gonna ruin it and give her a kiss. Though it would be light, she may never trust him again and blow the thing up and make it a big deal.

…

Toshiro woke up hearing someone shuffle around his room. The boy looked over to see Karin cleaning up the glass. She was already dressed, well changed and her hair was rather damp. Toshiro noticed that she didn't have gloves on. He quickly rushed over and then watch as the girl put her foot on a large shard of glass, that cut into her foot deeply. Toshiro shook his head lifting the girl up. She had her legs wrapped firmly around his waist and the girls arm was around his shoulder. She was in deep pain so, her head was resting on his shoulder.

Toshiro held her at the butt, as he could hold her securely their. Karin whimpered as Toshiro began to descend the stairs. Karin held on close, as they headed down. The white haired male froze at the kitchen door as Ichigo, Rukia and Renji sat their enjoying their meal. Ichigo was the first one to look up and the other two did the same. Toshiro walked away from them then asked Karin.

"Where is your sister?" he asked the girl in his arm. Karin shrugged then touched her face then hissed. Toshiro grabbed one of her hands then moved it back over to his shirt.

"You're a big idiot" he said shaking his head as he walked into the living room looking for the girl in question. Karin shook her head before leaning her head to the side.

"I believe you're the idiot who threw the thing, that is now in my hand and foot" Karin smiled. Toshiro watched as the three shinigami came into the living room.

"Toshiro what are you doing here and why are your carrying my sister?" Toshiro put Karin onto the couch before turning to look at Ichigo.

"What I AM doing here, is none of your concern and Karin hurt her foot, I was looking for your sister" Toshiro hissed. Karin smiled back at Toshiro before enquiring.

"Why don't you use kido to fix me up?" Rukia and Renji cringed slightly before Toshiro shook his head.

"I told you yesterday, I lost my candy, so I'm stuck in my gigai until Urahara gets more in, also as a captain I suck at healing kido, just as bad as Abarai and Kurosaki" Toshiro lied through laugher. Karin nodded then looked to Rukia.

"You're not hopeless you can heal me?" Karin asked. The girl only nodded then walked over to the injured Kurosaki. Toshiro walked out of the room saying he would clean the mess up and be back down in a few minutes.

Toshiro was in his room, picking up the larger bits of glass and putting them into a bin when someone broke his concentration.

"Hitsugaya?" a voice asked. Toshiro turned round to see Renji looking at him with sad eyes.

"Karin doesn't know what happened does she?" Toshiro only shook his head.

"I don't want her to know, she'll ask why and that's what I can't tell her" Toshiro bit his lip. The lieutenant of the 6th division smiled then looked down.

"Well here" Renji handed Toshiro a large envelope. Toshiro opened it seeing pictures of him and his squad. He then found a few letters then put them back in the envelope.

"You came up here, so Karin wouldn't find out right?" Toshiro nodded.

"Yeah, you're smart and thanks for the envelope I'll read that later" Toshiro said sitting on his bed. Renji nodded before looking to Toshiro with sad eyes.

"Can I ask, what is it like losing your title. Losing the ability to feel spiritual pressure and to see shinigami? What's it like losing all that?" Renji asked.

**Well, I will be writing this story later on once I finish punishment marriage. Just a preview and I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, I would like your feed back on what you think of this story.**


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